Tuesday, May 18, 2010

*fear*

~Diary type entry for the purpose of venting~

When I wrote for Take Root and Write, Shona, editor extraordinaire, would get so flustered with me because I don't like to capitalize satan. Bless her heart :) I know it is proper and all but I just don't like to do it. I don't think he deserves it. Another word I don't like to capitalize is fear.

Boy when God wants you to deal with something, it pops up all over the place doesn't it? This foul FOUR LETTER WORD fear keeps coming around. It seems everything I read about lately or hear about is telling my to face my fears. It is such a tiny little word but it is so huge in our lives. God told us time and time again "fear NOT!" in His word so why is this still so hard for us to obey? I tried to blame my latest fear on confusion but God was having none of that. He told me, "You are not confused. You know exactly what you want." I don't have to tell you He was right- you already know He was. I just had to admit it.

Ok so why is this so darn hard? Why am I holding on to something that is gut wrenching? Why...why...why???? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. RRRR It's not like I haven't done this before, it's not like I haven't already ended up on both sides of the situation, and look I'm still here! It will not kill me. So again, what's the problem??

On the other side of the FOUR LETTER WORD coin there is Love. Love is on the other side of every four letter word. If we flip the coin over we will see love. God is love. God is on the flipside of every situation. Which side are you going to look at today?

4 comments:

Andrea said...

I refuse to capitalize satan, either.
Blessings, andrea

An Imperfect New Momma said...

Good post. Thats the hardest part...letting go. Its something that I deal with constantly and like you ask myself Why. BTW I dont capitalize satan either. It feels weird todo that

mangiabella said...

thanks vee - i loved your thoughts on fear, it really spoke to my heart - i came across a poem that i wrote MANY moons ago, when i was just a teen, so near 20 years ago...*gasp..Lord have mercy that's a long time* and just recently dug it up in one of my junk drawers...how profoud that it was written so long ago....and yet still so relevant today....maybe i'll post it to my blog one of these days...but until then, enjoy...

"Fear" by Jaime Carrillo

What is the word
That lingers
In my mind
Telling me I can't
Robbing my joy
Stealing my confidence
Giving me grief
Offering no relief
TAKING
         MY
             TURN
Stepping on my toes
Holding me back
What is the word?
      FEAR

Today's Christian Mom~ said...

Love it!