Last night on our walk my 9 year old told me she did not want to go to gymnastics today. They were closed on the 3rd and she was with her dad for 2 weeks so she has not been to class for 3 weeks. She started going on and on about how she does not want to do a back handspring. Well this would not come out of nowhere so her teacher must have mentioned she was good enough to try one next time. So... she does not want a next time. I told her she has only been in the class since February and she is not going to quit already! She whined a little bit but dropped it. She played soccer for 2 years then she quit that when they were old enough for goalies. She was afraid of goalies. This was so sad for me because she is such a natural~Anyway, she called me today from her friends house to ask again if she could skip today. I told her no we already had that discussion and she was going. After I hung up I could hear God smirking. Seriously I could! He said to me "Frustrating isn't it?" I wonder how many times God has wanted me to do something but I didn't because I was afraid or thought I couldn't do it. Wow~ what a thought he gave me today. So now I feel a little sheepish. Not so much for not doing things God may have wanted me to, but for wanting to give up..... a lot. There are so many nights, especially after difficult bouts with my kids, that I just tell him "God I can't do this!" I can't raise these kids by myself. I can't raise them the way you want me to. I can't stand another eye roll! I can't get thru to them. Or just the exhausted "I GIVE UP!" scream. I can just picture God standing there with his arms crossed looking at me, while I am whining like a child because of my fear, saying, "I have planted you where you are for a reason and I will not let you quit."
Isaiah 12:2:2 Behold, God, my salvation! I will trust and not be afraid, for the Lord God is my strength and song; yes, He has become my salvation.