Friday, March 13, 2009

Dating In the Fallen World Part 1; The Bachelor

Wow here we are again and another two weeks has gone by! I just can't believe it! Many exciting new things are happening at Take Root and Write! The new digital magazine has been launched. It is the coolest thing ever! You can flip the pages just like a real magazine. Very cool!

I have been wanting to take my column in the direction of dating for a while now. I have decided against it a few times, but the recent episode of The Bachelor got me going. I don't know why I watch the show but I do. I watch the very first episode then I quit until they start doing the hometown dates. (The commercials always let you know when those are coming up.) I think the appeal of the show is the fact that everyone wants to love and be loved. Even though only one couple out of many has gotten married out of it, we still watch. Kind of like a train wreck... you can't look away from. You want to see who is left standing and gets to walk away hand in hand. Who does not like to fantasize about dream dates and exotic places like New Zealand?!

Being a Christian, I am not happy with the fantasy suite option. Personally I could not date a guy when I knew he was dating several other women as well. However, this is a worldly show made to be sexual so what am I really expecting here? During the season finale Jason really upset me. I watched him last season on The Bachelorette and I thought he was a good guy. Then he went and proposed to one of the women and then changed his mind! At first I was shocked he would do such a thing. Then I was even more shocked the women he sent home took him back! But, I thought about it for a while. I let a few hours go by. And yes, I watched the next night when some of the other women from the show gave their opinions and they talked to Jason and Molly. I started to change my opinion.

Yes, what Jason did was wrong on so many levels.Yes, they all put themselves in the potentially heartbreaking situation in the first place. But...does he deserve to be called the most hated man in America? Probably not. He claims he had to follow his heart and do the right thing. True, it was better for him to let the woman he chose know now he was thinking about the other woman instead of waiting until after they were married. Was going on the show the right thing to do in the first place? And what does the Bible tell us about following our hearts? "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?" (Jeremiah 17:9 KJV).

Dating is so different today than it was last time I dated. Granted that was back in high school and everyone around you was single so it was easy to meet someone. Now people go on-line and do other crazy things. The last time I was in the dating world I was not a Christian. I would have thought The Bachelor would have been an awesome show to be on. I had nothing on my requirement list except "Must be attractive." Now I could wallpaper my bathroom with the list. Well, maybe just one wall. At the top of my list is, "Must be a true follower of Jesus Christ." That alone eliminates over half of the single male population. And if I ever find one, will he be willing to convert to my church? Hmm, I wonder?

I saw a study today that said 15% of Americans now claim they have no religion and that is almost double from 1990. I can attest to that after going on a couple of dates and meeting single men. At first this was discouraging and I stopped dating. Lately though my children have been pushing me in that direction. I am not sure if they think I am getting lonely or if they are just ready to have a male figure around. No pressure, right? I do think I am finally open to the idea again. We all want our Cinderella moment right? However, I have prayed that God would just "poof" put the man He has for me in my path. That is kind of my excuse for not trying too hard to find him myself. Well, I wouldn't exactly call it an excuse. I truly believe He will do it. I just don't know if He wants me to tread on a few extra paths during the day so that I will stumble upon him. "And the Lord God said 'It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a help meet for him.'" (Genesis 2:18 KJV). The Lord knows I need a helper!

Join me on March 27th as I talk more about Christian single moms navigating the dating waters in the fallen world.

1 comment:

momstheword said...

You know, I don't think I'd want to marry a man that was kissing all those other women at the same time he was supposed to be falling in love with me, you know?

i didn't watch the series but I did watch the ending, and then the show afterwards and I was very surprised too.